This week has been a little better but I’m still trying to get this sorted out. I think I am following this religion blindly. I don’t know a lot of stuff, especially about Joseph Smith. I am trying my best to get things down. I have been struggling with not being scared. That’s my thing I’m trying to change. Weather has been not that good just rainy.
TUESDAY- After emailing we went to the Byrd springs mall with the zls and had some food and walked around. Then we went on splits with the members of the ward. I went with this guy Bro Swenson and we went and taught this guy named Stan the plan of salvation. After we taught him, Stan came and gave me a hug and said thank you for sharing that with me. That made my night. Then we went back to the apartment and that was the day.
WEDNESDAY- Elder Matthews was sick that morning and we stayed in till 2pm. I was studying the whole time while he was taking it easy to try to get better. We contacted this referral and after that we rode our bikes back to the apartment and the guy for our dinner appointment was waiting for us there. After we put our bikes back, we got in the car and he was so mad at us for being late. The guy and Elder Mathews argued for a bit then they settled things out. We got to the house and then we had pork with gravy. It was ok then I gave the spiritual thought about my favorite scripture. Then we went to see this girl Katelyn but she wasn't home then we went to Stan's to share a scripture with him and that was the day. I didn’t like that day. I was so scared.
THURSDAY- Today was our zone training. It was ok, I mean it was very long and very boring. I tried to learn some things but I had a hard time. We had a break so I decided to try to study a bit. But people thought I was depressed so I got up and talked to people. After the training we went to lunch and chick fil a. We went home and Elder Matthews wasn't feeling too well still. So I read a little out of the Book of Mormon while he was doing things. It was raining so we decided to walk to a dinner appointment and that just sucked. We got there all soaked, but they were really nice and the mom wanted us to give her a blessing because she was sick. After we gave her the blessing and oil, they drove us over to the Jennifer family’s home and then we stayed there for an hour then we went home. I was scared most of the day, because I didn’t know if I would teach anything correctly.
FRIDAY- Today we went with this YSA member Seth to go see some people. We saw this guy Chris who is going to be baptized but he’s on probation. Then we tried to go see some other people but they weren't home so we went home and had lunch. We weekly planned until 4pm and then I studied for an hour because apparently I couldn’t teach correctly. I’m trying my best but it still didn’t happen. We went tracting but that was a bust. I SUCKED SO BAD AT IT. I kept doing the same thing over and over again. That was the day.
SATURDAY- Today started out rough. I tried to teach Elder Matthews the restoration in the morning but I went too in depth with it. So that was a bust. We had a long discussion in the morning and then we went to this recent convert Breannas to practice a tracting thing. I still sucked. I thought I did better, but nope. Then we went for 3 hours tracting and I did a little better but not much. We only got one person out of 20 doors to let us talk. Then we went to the Haymonds to have dinner and there was a guy there who just got back from his mission in Ogden UT. He got back in July which is funny because I came out in July. We had Lasagna and then we went to see some less actives but they weren't home. So we went home and I had to plan for the next day which was hard because I don’t know that many people. Then that was the day.
SUNDAY- We went to church at 1 and I was wearing one of my lax pins dad sent me and this elderly guy came up to me and was like, wow nice pin did you play lax, I said yes. I found out he played Lacrosse at BYU in 1972. We talked a lot then church started. After church it was raining soo hard outside. We went home and we were about to ride our bikes over to our dinner appointment but we decided not to. The guy came and got us and we had a potato bar. It was actually pretty good then we had the spiritual thought and then we went home because Elder M wasn’t feeling too well. I didn’t even share my testimony at the dinner appointment so Elder M lit me up on that. So I just studied from 6 to 9, just sad. That was the night.
MONDAY- This morning we went to have Elder M get a haircut then we went to zaxbys and now we are here emailing. Tonight we have a dinner appointment and then we are gonna try to see some people. I just got done playing badminton with the zone leaders.
I sometimes don’t think I even have the spirit because I’m scared. I’m trying to get out of that stage. It’s hard. We joke around here and there but when it comes to missionary work it’s a different ball game. We came out of a lesson one time and I messed up on a couple of things and Elder M is like, “if you mess up a lesson again I’m throwing you under the bus and saying that was false doctrine.” So that’s why I’m scared and I’m studying all the time. There’s just so much going on that I think I may need a blessing.
I did get your letter. I loved it. I about cried because I miss yall. We are watching the broadcast on Wednesday here at the church.
I know this will pass but it’s just hard to endure.
Your positive Kaden is still here. It just may seem like I’m not because I haven’t experienced this before. I’m taking one day at a time. I’m trying to be just a better me.
I’m gonna talk to pres. in the interview. Elder M is trying his best to teach me. It’s hard for him to dumb it down to my level. He has to repeat things over and over because I’m trying to learn things. It took me a week just to learn 3 principles of the restoration. Elder M and I talk and stuff, we get along. I’m just not at his level. I’m trying to be myself. He played baseball back in high school. I like the area. I just think if I take a break I will lose that time I could have used to study. I’m just scared that if I take a break I won’t be ready for any lesson. Maybe I was a little hard on myself.
OH THIS WOULD MAKE ME SOO HAPPY! Ok get a flash drive and interview people and ask them what they think of when they think of Kaden Webb. Then when you have the videos downloaded on the drive, send it to me and I can play it on the DVD player. I would love it and cherish it.
Yes I feel like I know more than last week. Idk if I’m teaching better.
I know I’m gonna get through this. I just hope my next comp is one like the last 2.
Thank you for the encouragement. Y'all are the reason I’m still out here. Thank you soo much for everything yall do.
I will try my best. I hope it gets better this week. Keep praying for me, I need all the help I can get. I will always try to keep my head up.
LOVE YOU FOREVER MOM. I WILL NEVER EVER EVER LET YALL GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Elder Webb
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